Role of father in feeding.
Dear Mothers
Hope you all are in good health and doing well,
Whenever a baby becomes a part of the family, whole family is overwhelmed and welcome the baby with open heart and want to be involved in the care of baby . Parents especially fathers feel so delighted in the starting by watching the baby’s small hands and feet. He loves watching their baby- sleeping, moving , opening and blinking eyes and get anxious when they cry , these small worries are joys of parenthood.
But soon everything changes up side down especially for first time fathers. After coming home from hospital, mother and baby is busy together in feeding, sleeping and resting. Many fathers feel left out and think they are there only for material support because baby and mother are busy with themselves . Their special place in their better halves life is taken up by their bundle of joy - the baby. Their cupboard space is taken by baby. Their wives are talking about baby all the time . Their sleep is disturbed by the cry of baby. In short, there is nothing like before. Some even feels jealous of their own baby which is temporary, obviously.
So baby takes all the attention of family and fathers feel a little left out .
Some fathers do talk about this with the mother but majority don’t.
So why this happens. Why they feel alone and left out at their own place with their most loved persons.
It is because they are not involved in the day today practices of caring baby. They themselves don’t know how to help and bond. There is no-one to guide them. Mothers are also unaware about the situation and also exhausted with labor, post delivery pain, feeding baby, nappy change etc.
So now the question arises how to help fathers ( luckily I don’t faced this as my husband is Pediatrician ) the simple solution is involving fathers from starting. So when to start ? Starting is when the “Good news” comes. Yes, you read absolutely right. But now you will say “what they will do?”, Mother has to carry baby, mother has to eat well etc etc.
But fathers can participate and bond with baby prenatally by:
ü Going to ante natal check up with the would be mother
ü Going for walk regularly with her
ü Participating to prenatal yoga and exercises with her
ü Sometimes giving her head or foot massage
ü Cooking for her occasionally- of her choice of course
ü Reading a story book to the baby bump
ü Singing some song or lullabies for baby bump( yes, baby can hear you from inside)
ü Shopping for baby- clothes, toys , other essential things
ü Discussing mothers needs and plans for further care and needs of mother and baby
The list is endless as what I want to say is participating in all activities which is directly or indirectly related to baby.
Now the main question from starting which remained unanswered is how fathers can help in feeding
The answer is when you are mentally ready to see the bigger picture of after birth of child you will not feel alone. You are now bonded with the baby, baby also recognizes your voice.
l You can accompany your wife in labor room if obstetrician allows. (seriously some hospitals allow father in both normal and cesarean deliveries to support mothers)
l You can give skin to skin contact to your baby especially if mother went through a cesarean (the physical touch of baby overwhelm you and baby also feels secure)
l Burp the baby after a feeding. After a burp baby feels relaxed and father gains a sense of achievement, something tangible that can be defined as “ I am a good father”
l Changing the baby’s wet diapers which occurs frequently
l Changing the soiled diapers of baby. This, too occurs frequently and in breast fed infants, is far less unpleasant, less noxious odor as compared to formula fed ones.
l Giving baby a massage which helps in relaxing colicky and overstimulated infants results in baby to sleep with little effort
l Bathing the baby. You enjoy this most when baby grows little more and begins to enjoy the bath.
l Rocking the baby. This also frees mother to engage in other activities.
l Singing or reading to baby. Especially the one you did in the past. Baby will recognize you at once and feel more comfortable, secure and bonded.
l Playing with baby, especially infant ages and becomes more alert,receptive, reciprocated.
l Going for a walk together. Baby enjoys ride in pram, with change in environment becomes more aware of surroundings, can see the natures beauty birds, greenery etc and you are also to see and talk to other parents.
These are also some examples in which a father can bond with baby and helps mother in feeding.
Fathers too are important for better growth and development of baby physically, mentally and spiritually. So would be fathers and already fathers- always remember - “You are important and special to both mother and baby”. Your space and position cannot be taken by anyone else but a little adjustments ,not compromises are needed.
Happy Fatherhood- Happy Parenthood .
DR RUCHI AGGARWAL
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